Losing and Finding Life's Purpose
Sometimes, if I am
alone, I tend to lose sight of my life's purpose. Just like earlier today, I
was alone inside the bus going home and I felt something embracing my heart. It
is not an embrace of warmth and familiarity. It is rather an embrace of coldness
and aloofness. It is unfamiliar and yet something I have felt before. It is
during these moments that I begin to wonder what I am still doing with my life
and if I am able to identify it, I question myself why I am doing those things.
The clear direction which I have set for myself becomes blurry, that losing
one's way is totally inevitable.
I tried to reflect
upon this experience. I realized that this feeling is totally unnecessary and
absolutely unhealthy. I think that this is only but a result of being tired and
weary of the many things that I am doing. It is sometimes overwhelming that probably
sadness is trying to seep through the crevices that this weariness is creating
and thus taking advantage of this weakness and turning me into a reflection of
someone losing the way. This has happened to me before and it broke me badly.
Picking up the pieces was difficult and long.
Lately did I realize
that I only have to shift the way I think and the way I view myself and things.
Only after I committed myself that life is hopeful and that the light is at the
end of the tunnel did I let go of that cold embrace that pervades my heart.
Only after being thankful of the graces that I am receiving did I realize that
I still have it so good in my life.
Only through this am
I closing the crevices that sadness is creating inside my heart. I am pushing
away sadness so that it can no longer wreak havoc and thus allow joy to explode
within me and thereby make me look up and thank HIM. Only through this JOY that
I can make a saint out of myself and never ever lose sight of my life's purpose
again.
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