Speck of Light

Ours is a time of desperate needs. Time is fast dripping away straight to the cosmos. We are in that moment of history where all of those faithful sacrifices of those blessed heroes all seem futile. But still, I continue to hope, to long for that day of victory. I can only dream of that now as I sit myself snuggly on this barrel of gasoline, behind me that study drum of water resounding as maggots wiggle their miniscule bodies inside and beside me a wonder of public transport, a bus whose humid temperature pursues on to my rough skin as I bask my eyes through this wondrous object they call book.

“Cubao! Cubao! Cubao! ... aalis na! “Fairview, Fairview” Life as a barker is the hope I have now. It is the only way where I can go in this country where things difficult. I never wanted to be this way, but what can I do? “Hi Pacho” called that old lady sitting in this bus stop every moment of the day and night. The stench of that woman punching my nose. Yet, I converse with her wholeheartedly, “ I am ok… same old same old”. I shrugged my shoulder denoting the ordinariness of my life. I sat with the lady, the stench is awful, but I do not mind. “Young man, no adventures today?” said she whose life is as ordinary. “No, not much” I said. Yes, I really do not have adventures, all I have are sad memories of losing, dying and regrets. I am still young and yet I feel like I carry all the burden of the world. The woman besides me continues to reek and babbles and babbles, as if I care. We are just the same creatures after all. How can it be possible that there are people fortunate and other oppressed?

How can that be?

How can that be?

Another bus is approaching… “Cubao, Cubao, Fairview, Fairview.” The conductor of the bus gives me 5 pesos. I can only be grateful for this amount for this is where I find my living. This very dirty penny is the very source of my food.

I can only be grateful…

I can only be grateful…

I am still living aren’t i? but I live a life of dreamless possibilities. I can only be grateful. As I mourn over my wretched life, I still see that small speck of light, unreachable but still there. The sun still rising in the east; caterpillars transform still to be butterflies; eagles soar high up in the sky; the leaves are still green signifyting that something better is still out there. Yes, there is still somethi9ng out there, out there like an ant hidden within the depths of Amazon. I continue to search for that.

“Amin na pera mo! Amin na… kung hindi papatayin kita.” I saw it, I couldn’t believe my eyes, a thief robbed the only cash of that forlorn mother. “Magnanakaw! Magnanakaw!” shouted the woman. The man is still pursuing the lady. My body knowing nothing before it acts, immediately rushed to that scene. I tried to stop the man to protect the lady who was about to be stabbed, I made myself a human shield. Why are there no police around? Why is that so? Justice delayed, justice denied.

Now, I feel that cold cold pain, my blood flowing, people around me, gossiping around. Is this the purpose? Is there where I’m supposed to be? Now, that light is no longer a speck. It’s getting brighter and brighter and brighter.