Broken People, Fragile Individuals
Once again, i find myself in front of my laptop, pouring out to this electronic device the contents of my mind, heart and soul. as i have been thinking last night night, i do not know why, but out of the blue, i began to reflect on my self as a person as i ride the vehicle that will transport me towards my home.
as the wind brushes my face, bringing with it the polluted air of the metro, my mind began to drift towards the thought regarding my actions, attitudes, and demeanor. i have come to a conclusion that i am broken. yes, i am broken. i am a ruined individual. perhaps, i can attribute this brokenness to my childhood (thus it can be concluded that i believe in Freudian principles). but do not get me wrong, i am not abused or anything. it is just that, i consider myself to be broken and ruined because of my constant tendency to sin. no matter how hard i try, i still find myself sinning and doing the most ignominious deeds. honestly, this is very frustrating because all i ever wanted to do is to be charitable, kind, and good all the time. but i know that that is not possible. and to top it all, i am a teacher for crying out loud, bringing with it the herculean task of being a model and paragon of virtue. how the heck am i going to be a good person especially for my students? the question is difficult to answer.
How? How? How?
i guess, i can never be truly a paragon of virtue. THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE... i can only do my BEST. that is what is needed. i keep on praying that someday, God will bring light in this darkness. i believe that that is my future because God wants all of us to be happy by being good. so, as a teacher, i can always just do my best for my students, and that is all that i can do.
do my best, and God will definitely take the rest.
and as i ride later once again the vehicle that will bring me home, that also brings with it the polluted air of the metro, hopefully, i will find light in this experiences and breathe in the love of god which he pours out on all of us to be shared afterwards.
as the wind brushes my face, bringing with it the polluted air of the metro, my mind began to drift towards the thought regarding my actions, attitudes, and demeanor. i have come to a conclusion that i am broken. yes, i am broken. i am a ruined individual. perhaps, i can attribute this brokenness to my childhood (thus it can be concluded that i believe in Freudian principles). but do not get me wrong, i am not abused or anything. it is just that, i consider myself to be broken and ruined because of my constant tendency to sin. no matter how hard i try, i still find myself sinning and doing the most ignominious deeds. honestly, this is very frustrating because all i ever wanted to do is to be charitable, kind, and good all the time. but i know that that is not possible. and to top it all, i am a teacher for crying out loud, bringing with it the herculean task of being a model and paragon of virtue. how the heck am i going to be a good person especially for my students? the question is difficult to answer.
How? How? How?
i guess, i can never be truly a paragon of virtue. THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE... i can only do my BEST. that is what is needed. i keep on praying that someday, God will bring light in this darkness. i believe that that is my future because God wants all of us to be happy by being good. so, as a teacher, i can always just do my best for my students, and that is all that i can do.
do my best, and God will definitely take the rest.
and as i ride later once again the vehicle that will bring me home, that also brings with it the polluted air of the metro, hopefully, i will find light in this experiences and breathe in the love of god which he pours out on all of us to be shared afterwards.
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